I WANNA KILL HER!

i put down my dignity & went back to him. everytime i think of that scene, my heart aches like hundreds of knifes stabbing into it. i feel like KILLING her! SLAPPING THAT BITCH! I WILL! IF I EVER SEEN HER AGAIN! IF I EVER GET TO VENT ALL MY ANGER & HATRE, YOU'LL SEE NEITHER OF US AGAIN. i seem like a mad dog. bcos' you made me be. i may seem scary to you. but that's me. i'm faithful & i expect you to be! you cant accept me having a replacement, i expect you not to have it too! because of ur decision in going steady with her, you made me helpless for hours & hours. how much i wanted to lessen my pain to just by hurting myself?! I HATE LIARS! I HATE JERKS! you became 1 of them. i'm pity of that girl whom you be with. she's being fooled by you. i wonder if i am. you wont know the pain i felt bcos' you're not in my shoes. "when someday, you saw your loved one in the mall, you rushed down just to get to see her. but you end up seeing her with a guy walking closely. the pain inside is like thousands & millions of knifes stabbing in ur heart. you couldn't do anything bcos' you still have to acc ur mum to eat." i was choked by the Tom Yam soup bcos' of that incident. i was hungry when i came to meet mum. but just bcos' of that incident, i lost my appetite. i had to force myself to eat even abit cos' i dun wan my mum to be worried. we went home. i cried helplessly in my room for 3 hrs. i laid on my bed. my eyes were swollen, tired & pain. i fell aslp till 3am. i woke up. back to my room, i slept hoping i'll forget everything the next day but i dreamt of you being two-timer. i was so helpless. i woke up crying. normally, if i'm sad the previous night, i'll forget the next morning. it's not the case nw. just for that moment, it made me helpless for hours. i'm always hoping you wont be together with a girl. i know you love me & wont betrayed me even though i told you to find a girl & not let me know. i dunno how far you 2 have come to. holding hands, kissing each other, talking on the phone every night. i started to suspect everything you do. you told me your friends need ur help that night so we hung up. is that her who called? that day you all went to see movie, is she there too? the first time i seen you 2, have you all started? bringing her to see badminton bcos you 2 started? i dunno if she's the one. i din look properly on her face. my heart feels so pain. it bled. you killed me.